Tell me I won't

I had the opportunity to take a class I really quite enjoyed this semester.

Public. Speaking.

I typically don't mind speaking in front of people, but this class was scary for me because I felt like when we did speeches in class that everyone was critiquing everything I said and did.

It's kinda like when someone tells you they are a phsycologist. It feels like they are reading into everything you

say and do.

Well, today we had our last speech. We had to talk about our "key to success".

Speech after speech the topic of "good attitude" came up most of the time. It was entertaining to watch everyone... but I got caught a little off guard when the last person in the class did her speech.

She talked about NEVER GIVING UP.

She was very passionate in her talk and got tears when talking about someone she loved and looked up to. I got the chills listening to her story and the obstacles she has faced where she's learned to never give up. She had blown out her knee and was told she couldn't finish hair school. 3 weeks later, she was back getting her liscense, when on Christmas Eve her OTHER knee blew out. 2 knees that she won't be able to keep by the time she's 30. The doctors told her she couldn't be able to do it and all she said was:

tell me i won't. i'll prove you wrong.

She got back and was able to graduate 3rd in her class. I was very impressed by the persistence of this girl and it made me reflect on my own life. I thought about times when I felt like giving up. I've had a pretty easy life, don't get me wrong. But I think we all face days where struggle to keep a smile on and realize that everything will all work out.

I wrote about never giving up a few posts before this one, but I think it's something that is becoming my theme. I hope one day I will be the old lady who will live hours after I'm taken off life support to show that I'll fight til the very end.

One instance keeps running through my head as I've gone to school this semester.

A few months ago I was told I "lacked the desire for education". I was told to look myself in a mirror and tell myself that I can do it just so that I would have that quality in the bride I was supposed to be for "him".

I remember standing in front of that mirror feeling so insignificant. I wasn't good enough. I was dumb and had a harder time with school. I saw in the mirror a girl who didn't recognize herself. I saw a girl living to be everything "he" wanted her to be. I saw a girl who was indecisive and a girl who saw every flaw in herself. I saw ugly.

I wish so badly that I could tell myself then what I know now. If i could go back in time I wish I woulda said

"Tell me I won't." ...

"Tell me I won't do school... I'll prove you wrong."

This class has helped me gain back some more confidence that I had lost. I am starting to figure out my plan as far as school goes... and secretly, I can't help but wait for the day when I can have a peice of paper in my hand that says I did it. I can't wait to prove "him" wrong about my "lack of desire for education".

But mostly I can't wait to have a degree that I did for myself, not anyone else.

There are so many people who have such hard trials and so often we are told that we are unable to do something. People don't believe in each other. Doctors look at the situation of the problem rather then believe in a solution to the problem.

I have a friend who was in an accident and was told he'd never be able to walk again. He worked his butt off and now is able to say "tell me I won't" as he walks with both legs which once were crippled.

I know a little 5 year old girl who was told she was FAT and needed to go on a diet... age 5?? really? She'll prove them wrong one day when things change.

I started a sales job where I was told I would have a rough time because I was "too nice". Within the first month I was making 29 bones an hour. Tell me I won't and I'll do it!

No matter what kind of trials we face we are going to be put down by people, and worse: ourselves. From now on I've learned to look at it differently and to never give up. From now on my response will be a little different.

Tell me I won't.