"Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured" -Pres. Hinckley

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Meant To Be

So.. it has been about a month and a half since things got called off. A few days after the drama settled down, my friend Alex Pavia asked me to put my feelings into words and write lyrics for a song he was putting together. I fed him a bunch of stuff and he put it into a way to fit perfectly with the song he wrote on the guitar. He's awesome and I'm excited for everyone to be able to hear it.
Here's the lyrics:

Meant To Be:

We were never meant to be, and everything we had is slowly deteriorating.
Oh, everything I know will all just have to go...
leave me, i just feel like being alone.

You call me back, but i pretend i'm asleep
My hands are cold but my heart is racing
We're fallng down out of this dream
I'm waking up to a burning reality.

I can't stay and I can't go, I try to hid, but I always wanta show
you're draggin out the pain of this goodbye, I gave you one too many tries
We were right but felt so wrong, I'm weak from holding back my tongue
I was blind but finally I see, that we weren't meant to be.

Tears pouring down like rain, and I can't stand this pain
I know that I'm breaking your heart again
Oh and I can't seem to find words to ease your mind
So i'll just leave, I'll leave with this goodbye

I lie awake, the blood in my veins is aching for you, i'm aching for you
Memories remain, but everythings changed,
like an open wound, i'm aching for you

You call me back, but i pretend it doesn't hurt
And I pretend you've got it worse.. I ain't coming back
I'm bleeding slow, I can't let you know
I can't let you see that this is killing me.

When he was putting it all together he would send me rough drafts through e-mail and I still fall asleep to it playing on repeat. It's very theraputic. I've never really written a song that went this far.. i use to put some lyrics together but it's awesome to have someone sing exactly how I feel and that's what Alex did with this song. (let me know how you readers like it!)

As far as updates with life, i'm gettin back on my feet.

Its the stage where:

-You smile because that's what makes ya get through the day to enjoy life.
-Everytime a memory pops in your head, you pray to forget it.
-You don't sob anymore, but once in awhile tears will slowly drip on your pillow.
-When something funny happens you laugh extra hard because you grasp that small moment of happiness.
-Dreams are still better than reality and you wake up with a pit in your stomach.
-When someone gives you a hug you hesitate to pull back because you want them to hug the worries away.
-You watch others gettin married or dating and can't help but gag.
-Your alone in a crowded room.

and last.. your heart just aches.

I've come to realize that life really is too short to be sad tho! Life really is beautiful. I still stand by my saying that:

"Time doesn't heal a thing.. but time with the savior can heal ANYthing"

Even when it's hard, I believe that with all my heart! I'm so grateful for the blessings I have in my life and couldn't be more thankful for my family. They're my best friends.

I've come to realize too that sometimes it's ok that things don't work out.

sometimes things turn out how they're

"meant to be".

*special thanks to Alex Pavia.. check out his other stuff on youtube.. he's awesome.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

How old am i again?!

I've been told that I look younger than I am.

As a teenager, i wasn't a big fan of that because when you go on dates, boys think your a child, when you go into a gas station to buy gas, people don't think your old enough to drive.

The other day I was at work and this girl asked how old I was. I told her to guess because I get a kick out of what people think.

"15?"..... "close!" i said... off by about 6 years.

don't worry..i HAVE hit puberty.

But this week has been quite interesting..to say the least.

I was down in st george for a job interview. I was staying with a friend from work and arrived at her condo a little later at night. When I got there, a big white truck was parked across the street. I drove past it to make sure I knew what number I was at and this truck started flashing his lights at me. in my head I thought "ok.. it's probably some punk 16 year old trying to be flirty or something" I went back down the street and looked in my rear view mirror and he was pushing on his breaks so the lights would go on in a rhythmic pattern for me to notice. Sorry, but what the heck?

I finally parked where i needed to (right across the street from this flirty truck), and got out.

His door opens. He gets out.

My first thoughts were "ok.. pretend i'm on the phone" so i quickly grabbed my cell and called my friend.

Next thing I see is this big belly with a tall cowboy hat on. It was dark.. but from the looks of things.. this man was in his 60's.

I didn't know whether to laugh, or run when I heard these words come out of his mouth:

"wanta go country dancing?"

HA! i'm sorry but what?! Was this really happening? I break off my engagement and now the boys are all over me? 60 year old boys! SICK! ha! i didn't know what to say back so i muttered the first things that popped in my head.

I grabbed my luggage and fast-walked to the front door of the condo.

5 minutes go by..

a knock at the door.

this man is ruthless.

He came knocking on the door to make sure I didn't change my mind and have a sudden urge to go throw on my chaps and cowboy hat!

The funny thing is, is that day I had texted some friends down there to see if there was any country dancing like they do up where I live.. I was in the mood for country dancing.. but I had to pass with the 60 year old.

Well.. my dreams of dancing with a 60 year old belly, were soon crushed because the next day a drastic age difference happened once again.

I was at the Manti Pageant and had to use the restroom. All of a sudden some kid comes up to me and says,

"My friends don't think I can get your number... so i'm wondering if i can get it?" in my head i thought "he has NO idea how old i am because this kid looked like he just barely graduated primary. I just busted up laughing and played this little game as i ratted off my name and number.

His friends decide to show up and i look at them and realized it was a friends younger brother and they all went to my high school and were my little sister's age! haha, I started telling them what they're last names were and they got all big eyed thinking "how on earth does she know me?"
Finally the truth had to come out..

"do you know Angie?" and told them the same last name as what I told them earlier when I gave them my name.

They about DIED. These boys weren't 12 they were about 17, but I still just busted up. All of a sudden all of Angies friends who knew me showed up being like "what the heck??" realizing that their friends were hitting on their best friends older sister. haha it killed me.

I dunno which is worse, to be hit on by a 60 yr old cowboy or your little sisters friends who seriously look like they just got done playing with ninja turtles. haha I don't know, but all i can say is it has been pretty comical.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Some Things that Make Me Smile

Sorry but i just wanta post about some things that have made me smile the passed little while. Yes, life has been quite the roller coaster the past few weeks but there have been some funny instances that have happened that i've kinda thrived on to help be happy.

ha!.. and i am already smirking just thinking about it.


So... the other night I was having a rough night, didn't feel too great, in a very anti-social mood (which is not like me AT all) I dunno, i just had a case of the water works. So one of my friends brought 2 other friends with her and they cheered me up.

We laid on my tramp with blankets and played random questions. And then all of a sudden the topic got on Lady Gaga. I dunno if it was cuz it was 3am or what but someone all of a sudden said:

"Lady Gaga went gaga!"

I'm sorry, but i BUSTED a gut! so we started adding to it! let me give you some examples:

"98 degress is.. HOT"

"bone thugs and harmony?.. i thought my bones were already in harmony!"

"n'sync is now in sinc"

"Ellen Degenerous is very generous"

"I am as happy as 50 cent in a candy shop!"

"that little rascal just got flattened on a the highway of it's life!"

"Ignite R. Kelly into a remix while i run my hands thru my fro and bounce out of control"

"We shot the moon and it hit the Vertical Horizon, said Uncle Kracker"

"Tom Petty used his petty cash to buy him some toms shoes!"

"T-pain hurt his tibia, Mike Jones doesn't now who he is, and soldier boy is just a young officer"

"Aerosmith shot an arrow at Will Smith"

love this one: "Sherwood burnt down due to a careless arrow shot by Peter... Breinholt" haha i'm sorry but WHAT?! hahahaha

and my personal favorite: "Albert Einstein has scars"..."Albert FRANKENSTEIN!"

The whole night was like that, i have never laughed so hard in my entire life! haha it was like 3 in the morning and my dad had to tell us to be quiet. it's one of those things that you probably would have to be there for it to be funny but i tell ya.. it was hilarious! and i think it still is!


So I had just woken up in a great happy dandy mood for once in my life, the morning seemed to be a smile cuz i didn't have work that day.

Well I decided to up and do a victory morning dance.

haha I look over at my mom and she legit was SO discusted. haha the words came out of her mouth were "EW..." like in the most discusted sound like she had just been scarred for the rest of her life!

haha sheesh!


My dad. haha quite the character. I love him more than any man in the world! It was like 10 the other night and we were starving so he took my sisters and me to get hamburgers.

We pull in the drive thru


There was a specal that night!

even better..


my dad "What is this Bag of Burgers?"

the lady "it's a bag.. of burgers."

HA! i'm sorry but are you kidding me? no explanation, like.. plain burgers? cheeze burgers? chicken burgers? soggy burgers? hot tamale burgers? LIKE WE WOULD KNOW!

So THEN.. she has us pull up to the window... i guess the peppermint patty burgers weren't quite ready yet because she had us pull up so they could help the car behind us. haha no worries..

My dad flies into the end of the parking lot. My sister was like "dad.. i think she just meant a few feet"

Luckily that lady liked to jog cuz we got our BAG OF BURGERS in no time.

oh life:) i love it.